Any suggestions on PTSD & C-PTSD assessments

[Lank72]

Whilst I second the request, maybe this is just not the place for it.
I can only imagine the website and janitor issues that would arise from providing the feature.
Protecting vulnerable people, of which many users could be categorised, has to be priority when trying to run a ship like this. So if the DM feature is not possible then I understand.

If ever anyone has a question, or something that is really bothering you, then please I love to help. Its something that always makes me feel good. All I ever want is for people to have what I didnt.
I am considered reasonably capable by most that meet me and my battle with CPTSD defeated me. Everyone needs help.

I echo your message to be kind to oneselves.

My understanding is this is exactly why DMs are not made available to people on the forum

 

[Bluewaffle1878]

Six months of assessments by MH NHS Nurses and CPT to see the Psychiatrist for my diagnosis. A matter of understanding the triage process I now understand. Trouble is C-PTSD, MDD, PD (ADHD/ASD) is/are not really good tools to help you navigate this stuff.

40 chats into therapy and I might be stable enough for EMDR next week.

They use the term 'Watchfull Waiting'. Makes me giggle.

Be kind to yourselves

Al

Good luck with the EDMR i tried but coudnt get meself in the right headspace in the given sessions to start the edmr itself and had to leave felt like a failure but they made me feel like i was takin someome elses place so i discharged, just getting some fresh air for the first time in a while with a few bowls of ogkb to keep me goin

 

[Fiddlesticks]

Good luck with the EDMR i tried but coudnt get meself in the right headspace in the given sessions to start the edmr itself and had to leave felt like a failure but they made me feel like i was takin someome elses place so i discharged, just getting some fresh air for the first time in a while with a few bowls of ogkb to keep me goin

EMDR didnt work for me either.
I pathologically disassociate when anyone tried to get me to go somewhere. Can go into more details if helpful.
Some people can be hardwired certain ways.
I stopped smoking to try too.
No failure at all.
Im sorry that this is how you were left feeling by going through with it. Very understandable. I could say other therapies that may benefit you more, but if you want clear and some space then thats the best thing for you.
What you need and what therapy can provide are sometimes far apart.

Keep well bud.

 

[BringBackBubblegum]

EMDR didnt work for me either.
I pathologically disassociate when anyone tried to get me to go somewhere. Can go into more details if helpful.
Some people can be hardwired certain ways.
I stopped smoking to try too.
No failure at all.
Im sorry that this is how you were left feeling by going through with it. Very understandable. I could say other therapies that may benefit you more, but if you want clear and some space then thats the best thing for you.
What you need and what therapy can provide are sometimes far apart.

Keep well bud.

EMDR can be done at home but it's not advisable if you haven't done it. just cross your arms and tap your shoulders. It's meditation with extra steps. You just follow what comes into your head (memories, trauma) this makes you think of that and so on . It's exhausting so it takes a lot of effort. What you are doing is moving events from your subconcious to your more concious parts so you can readdress them and put them back in. Gives me a panic attack or the beginnings of one which is why you need a therapist that you feel safe with. Having a therapist that you get on with is key really.

Hope this helps someone. I only started EMDR, due to all of the above after about 40 sessions. Thats how long it took for me to build rapour and feel safe.

 

[Fiddlesticks]

Last session with my psych today. Its brutal they call it a termination session.
I would have thought they could come up with more compassionate language.
I waited 2 years to get this NHS treatment and like that it is over and I will be on my own again.
Probably for another year at least before they do anything else.

For all my advice and strength I can give other people, I struggle to do the basics myself. I have kept waiting for some sort of road to damascus moment and yet here I am.
I am better than I was though. That is something that I shouldnt throw away.
I volunteer helping people as a peer support worker yet people never realise that I need as much help as them. Im just blagging it.
Frustrated.

 

[Lank72]

Last session with my psych today. Its brutal they call it a termination session.
I would have thought they could come up with more compassionate language.
I waited 2 years to get this NHS treatment and like that it is over and I will be on my own again.
Probably for another year at least before they do anything else.

For all my advice and strength I can give other people, I struggle to do the basics myself. I have kept waiting for some sort of road to damascus moment and yet here I am.
I am better than I was though. That is something that I shouldnt throw away.
I volunteer helping people as a peer support worker yet people never realise that I need as much help as them. Im just blagging it.
Frustrated.

I feel this post a lot

Be kind to yourself

 

[Al.]

Last session with my psych today. Its brutal they call it a termination session.
I would have thought they could come up with more compassionate language.
I waited 2 years to get this NHS treatment and like that it is over and I will be on my own again.
Probably for another year at least before they do anything else.

For all my advice and strength I can give other people, I struggle to do the basics myself. I have kept waiting for some sort of road to damascus moment and yet here I am.
I am better than I was though. That is something that I shouldnt throw away.
I volunteer helping people as a peer support worker yet people never realise that I need as much help as them. Im just blagging it.
Frustrated.

I have had this twice, for me it's the heartear of losing a friend, it guts me.

'You are better than you were' the same words I use to myself and I think that's the way I must look at it.
The stage I am at is 'little steps, sometimes two backwards but little ones'.

You are ahead of me here 'lending a hand' so you are helping hugely!

Having people to talk to about the feelings that we all have (non trauma specific) but knowing that someone else has felt this way makes you feel like you are not so fully alone.

I am typing this while my frontal lobes are receiving tDCS (transcranial direct current stimulation). I have been on this Treatment for a few month and for me it is astounding! (but not only in the way it was meant to be), it has woken me. It's terrifying starting to understand my entire life, I am 62.

I am better than I was

 

[Fiddlesticks]

I have had this twice, for me it's the heartear of losing a friend, it guts me.

'You are better than you were' the same words I use to myself and I think that's the way I must look at it.
The stage I am at is 'little steps, sometimes two backwards but little ones'.

You are ahead of me here 'lending a hand' so you are helping hugely!

Having people to talk to about the feelings that we all have (non trauma specific) but knowing that someone else has felt this way makes you feel like you are not so fully alone.

I am typing this while my frontal lobes are receiving tDCS (transcranial direct current stimulation). I have been on this Treatment for a few month and for me it is astounding! (but not in the way it was meant to be), it has woken me. It's terrifying starting to understand my entire life, I am 62.

I am better than I was

I feel this post a lot

Be kind to yourself

Reading your words on the bus home made me feel better so thankyou.
I am not good at asking for help so spergy outbursts on forums are about as loud as I get.
It means something when people who understand reply.
Cheers

 

[Lank72]

Argh it's so fucking hard isn't it folks

Become a totally normal thing for me to be weeping and or crying uncontrollably multiple times a day, and it feels like there is so much to come out that it could drown / choke me. I'm so exhausted.

'hiya, are you alright?'

'no, not really, but I persevere'

I am absolutely fucking CLINGING to my sense of humour

 

[Fiddlesticks]

Persevere is the motto of my town.

Become a totally normal thing for me to be weeping and or crying uncontrollably multiple times a day, and it feels like there is so much to come out that it could drown / choke me. I'm so exhausted.

If you come up with an answer to this conundrum do get back to me.
Building resilience to things whilst not becoming an uncaring automaton is difficult. When the simple act of a mother hugging a baby can set me off the world is full of pitfalls.
You have to feel to process allegedly.
I used to be very awkward around emotion. Expected superhuman strength in others. I remember even telling off my ex-wife for crying at a funeral.
Cringe in retrospect. I thought I was being strong.
Basically there is no right or wrong answer. Just persevere.

 

[Lank72]

Persevere is the motto of my town.




If you come up with an answer to this conundrum do get back to me.
Building resilience to things whilst not becoming an uncaring automaton is difficult. When the simple act of a mother hugging a baby can set me off the world is full of pitfalls.
You have to feel to process allegedly.
I used to be very awkward around emotion. Expected superhuman strength in others. I remember even telling off my ex-wife for crying at a funeral.
Cringe in retrospect. I thought I was being strong.
Basically there is no right or wrong answer. Just persevere.

Will do

Triggers are everywhere, direct and indirect, I'm realising.

Yes I've found personally it's in fact much harder to have your face in that pipe of emotion that bursts from within, than it is to repress.

Having said that it appears that my days of repression are over. The isolation valves are popped off and every day it rains now, trickles or torrents.

Bless the herb for the raincoat

 

[Al.]

Will do

Triggers are everywhere, direct and indirect, I'm realising.

Yes I've found personally it's in fact much harder to have your face in that pipe of emotion that bursts from within, than it is to repress.

Having said that it appears that my days of repression are over. The isolation valves are popped off and every day it rains now, trickles or torrents.

Bless the herb for the raincoat

If you are of the age to remember Basil Brush (70s) you might remember his only top 100 hit (Mr North notwith(St)andin(g).
When I feel okay enough to think of it, it can help.
It is entitled ' I've got tears in my ears from lying on my back and crying over you'.

Try that at home....;_)

 

[Fiddlesticks]

If you are of the age to remember Basil Brush (70s)

I was born 81 and I used to go BOOOMBOOM the whole time.

 

[Al.]

Sometimes you just have to 'boom boom Mr North' (in a good way ;_)

 

[Lank72]

Have my therapy start date before the end of the month now, hallelujah. Starts with an assessment and decision on whether it's really C-PTSD I'm dealing with (I think so) and go from there.

Really wanting to get started and also terrified because I'm such a fragile mess at the moment.

No way but forward I guess

 

[Fiddlesticks]

Morning Lank

Good to hear that you have some support starting soon. Its been a few months now since you started the process and I think its even more positive that you :

Really wanting to get started

I know it sounds simple but I tried to tell them what I saw as "whats wrong with me" and how things had been manifesting.

The things that I most wanted help with and what I talked about the most are the things that I have no control over or "involuntary behaviours".
We can all discuss the things that make us who we are but CPTSD more appears in things that you cannot stop or have no control over.
For myself that was issues around Nightmares and sleep, issues around me not eating and issues around self care. These had affected me my whole life and my own story followed a retraumatisation model.
I was convinced that I had other things wrong with me due to gaslighting and probably reading too many psychology books waiting for the treatment. There are several conditions co-linked to CPTSD such as BPD and whilst they may affect women more than men, part of the assesment will be seeing how these things relate to yourself.

You will have multiple sessions with a psychologist before diagnosis who will look to try and make a lifestory or a timeline for Lank. This is very helpful as one of the main features of CPTSD is how the memories of these incidents are stored in the subconcious. Often survivors of CPTSD have excellent memory and recall skills however all the memories and how they are all linked are jumbled up.
A timeline or a history of your life that led to you being affected by CPTSD will be made and most psychologists will follow a Problem - Description- Solution format for diagnosing you.
So that will look something like:

Presenting Issues - How you are being impacted now
Background information - Childhood
Current Situation - Adultlife
Initial Formulation and Plan - How to target the things you are impacted by

By the end of these diagnosing sessions hopefully you will be clearer about how the CPTSD formulated or came to appear with you and it will be clear by the chain of events that you describe to the psychologist what to diagnose you with.
Without telling too much more information the way things follow one after another means that diagnosis are actually very consistent within a framework. You just go tell them about your life. Dont worry about the framework. That will fit!!!

So quickly to summarise. You will have multiple sessions and time with this person. They will in essence help you make a timeline of the events and chain that led to your symptoms. Then based on assesment of your answers and your symptomology the diagnosis are clear from then.

Please ask more questions if and when you have them.

 

[Lank72]

Morning Lank

Good to hear that you have some support starting soon. Its been a few months now since you started the process and I think its even more positive that you :

I know it sounds simple but I tried to tell them what I saw as "whats wrong with me" and how things had been manifesting.

The things that I most wanted help with and what I talked about the most are the things that I have no control over or "involuntary behaviours".
We can all discuss the things that make us who we are but CPTSD more appears in things that you cannot stop or have no control over.
For myself that was issues around Nightmares and sleep, issues around me not eating and issues around self care. These had affected me my whole life and my own story followed a retraumatisation model.
I was convinced that I had other things wrong with me due to gaslighting and probably reading too many psychology books waiting for the treatment. There are several conditions co-linked to CPTSD such as BPD and whilst they may affect women more than men, part of the assesment will be seeing how these things relate to yourself.

You will have multiple sessions with a psychologist before diagnosis who will look to try and make a lifestory or a timeline for Lank. This is very helpful as one of the main features of CPTSD is how the memories of these incidents are stored in the subconcious. Often survivors of CPTSD have excellent memory and recall skills however all the memories and how they are all linked are jumbled up.
A timeline or a history of your life that led to you being affected by CPTSD will be made and most psychologists will follow a Problem - Description- Solution format for diagnosing you.
So that will look something like:

Presenting Issues - How you are being impacted now
Background information - Childhood
Current Situation - Adultlife
Initial Formulation and Plan - How to target the things you are impacted by

By the end of these diagnosing sessions hopefully you will be clearer about how the CPTSD formulated or came to appear with you and it will be clear by the chain of events that you describe to the psychologist what to diagnose you with.
Without telling too much more information the way things follow one after another means that diagnosis are actually very consistent within a framework. You just go tell them about your life. Dont worry about the framework. That will fit!!!

So quickly to summarise. You will have multiple sessions and time with this person. They will in essence help you make a timeline of the events and chain that led to your symptoms. Then based on assesment of your answers and your symptomology the diagnosis are clear from then.

Please ask more questions if and when you have them.

I'm very grateful for this, thank you

 

[Lank72]

Morning Lank

Good to hear that you have some support starting soon. Its been a few months now since you started the process and I think its even more positive that you :

I know it sounds simple but I tried to tell them what I saw as "whats wrong with me" and how things had been manifesting.

The things that I most wanted help with and what I talked about the most are the things that I have no control over or "involuntary behaviours".
We can all discuss the things that make us who we are but CPTSD more appears in things that you cannot stop or have no control over.
For myself that was issues around Nightmares and sleep, issues around me not eating and issues around self care. These had affected me my whole life and my own story followed a retraumatisation model.
I was convinced that I had other things wrong with me due to gaslighting and probably reading too many psychology books waiting for the treatment. There are several conditions co-linked to CPTSD such as BPD and whilst they may affect women more than men, part of the assesment will be seeing how these things relate to yourself.

You will have multiple sessions with a psychologist before diagnosis who will look to try and make a lifestory or a timeline for Lank. This is very helpful as one of the main features of CPTSD is how the memories of these incidents are stored in the subconcious. Often survivors of CPTSD have excellent memory and recall skills however all the memories and how they are all linked are jumbled up.
A timeline or a history of your life that led to you being affected by CPTSD will be made and most psychologists will follow a Problem - Description- Solution format for diagnosing you.
So that will look something like:

Presenting Issues - How you are being impacted now
Background information - Childhood
Current Situation - Adultlife
Initial Formulation and Plan - How to target the things you are impacted by

By the end of these diagnosing sessions hopefully you will be clearer about how the CPTSD formulated or came to appear with you and it will be clear by the chain of events that you describe to the psychologist what to diagnose you with.
Without telling too much more information the way things follow one after another means that diagnosis are actually very consistent within a framework. You just go tell them about your life. Dont worry about the framework. That will fit!!!

So quickly to summarise. You will have multiple sessions and time with this person. They will in essence help you make a timeline of the events and chain that led to your symptoms. Then based on assesment of your answers and your symptomology the diagnosis are clear from then.

Please ask more questions if and when you have them.

Yes this seems accurate now that I've started my sessions since this morning. Therapist is going gently and said to start with during these early sessions each time they will be doing a little bit assessment into history, a little bit of talking with me about what's going on currently, and a little bit of building up a toolkit to manage my nervous system etc. And put me at ease that we'll only trauma-delve once they believe we're in a good position to do so.

Therapist revealed that, like me, they also have ADHD - that helps me a lot because I know that they know some of what I go through and have lived it and not just learned about it.

It's a slow, steady start and that's all to the good because even going through this threshhold is a 'big-feelings' event.

But I've begun, and that's a good thing

 

[Fiddlesticks]

Thanks for sharing and definitely a big positive that you have a "working" relationship with your therapist already.
It's hard to strike a balance and feel understood or heard in what way people can.
The result of CPTSD and certainly ADHD is usually actions that you feel having to try explain to "normal" people.
To have someone that understands things is priceless.
Maybe you have never been understood before properly in your life. I had never been and I had been married etc. Its a difficult thing.

Im glad that what I have typed previously makes sense as the framework they will follow. With this being your first session I dont want to say more than I have. It certainly isnt for me to try pre-empt therapy. I am just happy and proud (if you will allow me) of how you have tackled this so far. It says a lot about you.

I got sad thinking about myself and my struggles for a moment there which I never allow myself. Bringing things up from the past is not helpful unless in a controlled environment and thats what therapy is. I dont want people reading this thread to be brought into a negative place from anything mentioned.
But everyone needs help and thats what these posts are for.

 

[Lank72]

Yes I appreciate you sharing more than I can probably communicate well at this degree of separation, and I think we are similar and you know that having an understanding of how things are going to work / are going to happen is much needed

And yes I hope we are treading a fine line in opening a window to help people who read along, without making it something which pushes anyone too far

Appreciate your and other's input here and I'll keep sharing back here