giveusashout.org
www.autism.org.uk
www.autism.org.uk
Yes! This is such a big thing to understandUnderstanding autistic burnout
Dr Dora Raymaker discusses research into autistic burnout
Autistic fatigue - a guide for autistic adults
This guide looks at how autistic fatigue and burnout can affect autistic adults and what we can do to help.
In addition sharing here info on autistic burnout which, as I've now understood myself from my own experiences and recent understanding of being autistic, can seem very similar to stress / depression / burnout, but has different causes and somewhat different symptoms and treatment
www.youtube.com
I've had spells in my life where its been just too hectic and things got on top of me ,music was the last thing on my mind but soon as you play an old album say queen or something ,its often the start of a healing process albeit not immediate but I'll start listening regularly and this helps me focus instead of thinking the world weighs on my shoulders.
He walks slowly with me after that, continuously looking up at me, assessing how I'm getting on. Just sat together on the sofa now. He'll be with me all day. 
Resting on the bed rn, recuperating energy. What else is there to do after burning out so fast? 
It's so hard. There isn't a number to call to fix it, or anyone close to support us. It's all on us. I feel ashamed to say it, but at times, it's too much and makes me ill. Today is one of those days 
I had my first panic attack in a while today. It came on so suddenly, and even though I knew I was heading into emotional distress, the overwhelm came from nowhere and hit me so hard. I just sorta collapsed and sat on the floor.
I was out with my dog and just had to sit and breathe through it. He's such a good little therapy friend... Years of unintentional training I guess. He sits with me gently and encourages me to fuss him. When I'm calmer and regain control of my breathing, he will come up for kisses (and to steal my salty tears)
What kicked it off?
I'm navigating my own mental health whilst supporting my partner with his. We are both seeking diagnosis for AuDHD, and have kinda given up on the NHS, experienced plenty of it's MH 'support' over the past 3 years. He experiences frequent meltdowns when stressed. I admittedly add to this stress at times with my big emotions, and a disagreement whilst out walking today triggered him into SH. He's torn chunks of his beautiful hair out
I'm doing my best and I know my best is good enough, even though it doesn't seem to be at times. I feel completely fragile and exhausted now. I don't really remember getting home, just jelly legged it all the way back. Called CB1 Medical again before this happened to find out when my prescription will be dispensed and dispatched... Was assured it will arrive tomorrow, so that's something
If anyone has any experience / advice with navigating autistic meltdowns, I would genuinely love to talk
If you read through this thread / page 21, there's an exchange between me and @BlackSheepVegan who provided some excellent insight and resources I've been working through (really, really helped, particuarly the 'Unmasked' book by Ellie Middleton)
If you know yourself to be autstic, then you'll know that any and all information on a subject which is consuming your mind and life can be really helpful (assuming of course that you still aren't at the extreme point of burnout of not being able to speak, and enjoying either a panic attack, meltdown, or shutdown at least once a day)
Understanding autism better has helped me understand what I need to start recovery of this latest round of burnout (had no clue before as it was just labelled 'mental health issues' and given pills and told to do a bit of yoga; I do like yoga and see a place for it, but it's not the cure-all if the root cause is stress caused by being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world)
So I've done the following (I appreciate some of these may not apply, or may be priviliged things which not everyone can do, but hopefully it highlights themes):
- Reduced all social interaction as far as possible in my circumstances for now
- Taken time off work, to reduce demands on me and my brain
- Building time into each day to just do nothing but listen to nature
- Resting more, sleeping more - it's so exhausting and people don't realise
- Used medical cannabis to soften symptoms of anxiety, make social interaction easier and less scary, reduce brain overdrive, and to help relax and sleep
- Tried to do some very light exercise each day (I'm close to woods, so a walk there ticks a few boxes)
- Used any spare energy and time to learn about autism
- AND THE MAIN ONE - listen to autistic people who are already diagnosed / a few years ahead of me in understanding it all and themselves; because they are in a calmer space and have had chance to work through it, they are capable of wording things in a way which provide me real clarity - and that's what the autistic mind craves a lot
I'm terrified about the assessment, dreading it, but, probably similar to everyone else in this position, also want it to happen tomorrow so I can have clarity and move forward from there. That's not possible, so the next best thing for me was to learn all about it, and accept that this is going to be a really hard transition phase in my life. I'm holding on to the idea that the transition should mean only good things for me and my family when it's done.
I'll finish with this one video - https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/scotland/embrace-autism/what-is-autism
Because it gave me the confidence to accept, and self-diagnose for now, whilst I wait for the doctors to catch up.
But of course, this, as usual, all sounds easy written down, so the most important advice is to be kind to yourself. You got this whole way (I'm in my late 30's) and you survived, you are learning and growing, and having to live a whole life in a mad world on top of it. If it takes time, then it takes time, you are good and worthy and sounds like are on the right track to better understand yourself and your partner and hopefully move on to something better than survival.
I try to pace myself with social, but it still remains an elusive balance. Thank you for the reminder, it does reaffirm what I'm trying to learn, and means alot that you took the time to write it out to help a stranger 
You’re absolutely right: surviving, growing, and learning in a world that doesn’t always make space for us, is no small feat. 
Assessment is a great step in the right direction 
The waiting is so hard, but your mindset of holding on to the idea of better things to come is so inspiring. I'm not much younger than you, and so grateful the penny dropped for me when it did. My whole damn life makes sense now, and I'm able to support my partner whilst he makes sense of his... I think self diagnosis can be deeply validating, but a formal one can unlock doors 
@Lank72 - thank you for checking in, and thank you so much for sharing your experiences and insights so openly - there’s so much wisdom and compassion in what you’ve written, and it genuinely resonates. The way you’ve outlined your steps toward understanding and managing burnout is incredibly thoughtful and practical, even in recognising that not all steps will apply to everyone.
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Reducing social engagement is probably the thing I struggle with the most. As a mental health advocate in my own community, I feel in such high demand by many people who really are at their lowest, and like I'm letting them down by taking indefinite time out. That said, I am starting to accept that it's a must, and I shouldn't feel so guilty about withdrawing to rest. There's just so much to 'catch back up with', so many notifications and people / missed calls to get back to. It's not as easy as it should be to jump back into things when I'm ready. Too much at once
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Your point about being kind to ourselves really hits home. It’s something I know I need to remind myself of often, but seeing someone else emphasise it is a much-needed nudge
Thank you for including the video link, I'll be sure to finish the series. I absorb what I can, and grateful there are many great content creators sharing their experiences on different platforms. I love the phrase "If you've met one autistic person, then you've met one autistic person" - the genius of it makes me giggle
You’ve offered not just advice but a real sense of solidarity and hope. I’m truly grateful and wishing you all the best as you continue this journey. I hope the clarity and calm you’re working toward will bring even more positive change for you and your family
Thank you for sharing such compassion
